I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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