I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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