Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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