He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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