direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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