it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
