Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
