best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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