I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
