I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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