Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
