Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
