In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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