This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
