operation have a gay friend backfired
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
