I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
