We named our party play list daddy issues
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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