garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
