So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
