I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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