the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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