so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
