the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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