Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
