im drinking this country out of the recession.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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