Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
