I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
