Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i think i just lost a toe
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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