Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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