he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
