I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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