who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
