my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
