i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
