Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
