The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
