im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
