I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
