So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
