She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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