That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
being pregnant is like rehab
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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