Non-Jews are for practice
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
