There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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