tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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