We're like a lot better than the average bears
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
