I wannas sexs uuuuu
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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