i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
