u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
