I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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