with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
