I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
