watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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