we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize