i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
