so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
