Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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