i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
