we're blogging at a bar
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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