well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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