It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
