K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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