absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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