Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
