drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
